THIS IS MY story.
I have never doubted that God wants to play an integral part in our lives and desires nearness to us. Knowing this happens and allowing this to happen in my life are a completely different story, though.
After a mission trip to Haiti, this all seemed to change and I was actually going to be following God’s plan for my life. Out of nowhere, I had this overwhelming sense that I needed to move our family to Haiti and begin a new life there. My wife was on board and felt the exact same thing. We put it to prayer, had others pray as well, long story short everything aligned and we were a family ready to move in August. How fun to be on adventure with God and finally know his plans for my life!
This future came to a crashing halt as secrets and problems at our future employer became apparent, and sadness set in. The decision to not move seemed wise to all concerned but so many questions, along with the feelings of emptiness and sadness.
Was I not good enough? Why did I invest so much emotion to have this all fall apart?
All these questions were focused on me and not on my relationship with Jesus. I was trying to be in control, but Jesus maybe just needed to teach me that I am not in charge and a life of being open to following him is the life he desires for me. We found comfort in the man of Abraham and how God tested him. His end game was not to sacrifice his son, but to know Abraham was all in. Maybe Haiti was not my future, maybe it will be, but I do know for a fact that heartbreak has made me grow in realizing my need for reliance on and listening for his voice. We find hope in knowing we serve a God who knows we are all in too.
Genesis 22:11-12, 15-18 (NLT)
Then the angel of the Lord called again to Abraham from heaven. “This is what the Lord says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld…I swear by my own name that I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies. And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed—all because you have obeyed me.”
Originally published January 28, 2019 on firstchristian.com. © 2019 First Christian Church.